Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
