just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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