Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I have demons in me.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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