Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
