Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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