Your tits are I can't wait for
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
