You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
