i barfeds in our rink
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
