I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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