pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
