I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
