Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
