thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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