this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
