You were right. It hurts to walk today.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
