we're blogging at a bar
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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