He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
