Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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