My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
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