Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
