..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
