are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
