WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize