I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
do herpes really smell.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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