I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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