why didn't you poke me back
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
