maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just found puke in my bra..
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
