If that was your dad, he is hot
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
