I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
