Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
