Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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