We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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