I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
