apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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