If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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