I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
