He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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