There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
