Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
