Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
