South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize