theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
