I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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