Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
