Already got asked if we're dating
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
