OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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