I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
handjob tips. give me some.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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