Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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