this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
They are going to name an STD after you.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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