You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
