I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
