I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
