I haven't been this sober since birth.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize