ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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