he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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