I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
