I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
