it hurts more in the daytime
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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