I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
