White coat. Heels.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
