He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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