So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Girls should come with a carfax report
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
