I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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