She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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