just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
