Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
