Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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