I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
