thus making me awesome and them whores
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize