at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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