have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
