I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize