Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
