it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
