i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
