I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
zippers are such a cool invention
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
