This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
